| Date |
Thought |
Author |
Author's
Title |
01/01/2006 |
Happy New Year! |
Factel Staff |
|
01/02/2006 |
"Happiness that is shared goes undiminished" |
Siddhartha Buddah 560-480 B.C. |
Founder of Buddhism |
01/03/2006 |
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory." |
Albert Schweitzer |
|
01/04/2006 |
"It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument." |
William G. McAdoo |
|
01/05/2006 |
"Blessed is he who has found his work; let him ask no other blessedness." |
Thomas Carlyle |
|
01/06/2006 |
Never give advice unless asked, |
German Proverb |
|
01/07/2006 |
"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." |
Harry S. Truman |
|
01/08/2006 |
Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry. |
Spanish Proverb |
|
01/09/2006 |
"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." |
Benjamin Franklin |
|
01/10/2006 |
"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." |
Aristotle |
|
01/11/2006 |
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?" |
Edgar Bergen |
American entertainer |
01/12/2006 |
"Getting fired is natures way of telling you that you had the wrong job in the first place." |
Hal Lancaster |
|
01/13/2006 |
"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up." |
Ogden Nash |
|
01/14/2006 |
"Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration." |
Thomas Edison |
|
01/15/2006 |
"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." |
Robert Frost |
|
01/16/2006 |
"Drive-in banks were created so most of the cars today could see their real owners." |
J. Joseph Crossman |
|
01/17/2006 |
"There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee." |
Lester J. Pourciau |
|
01/18/2006 |
"Conceit is God's gift to little men." |
Bruce Barton |
|
01/19/2006 |
"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy." |
Anne Frank (1929-1945) |
|
01/20/2006 |
"Give no decision till both sides thou'st heard." |
Phocylides |
|
01/21/2006 |
"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do." |
Dale Carnegie |
|
01/22/2006 |
"Procrastination is the thief of time." |
Edward Young |
|
01/23/2006 |
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." |
Mark Twain |
|
01/24/2006 |
"I have often regretted my speech, never my silence." |
Syrus 42 B.C. |
|
01/25/2006 |
"Never mistake motion for action." |
Ernest Hemingway |
|
01/26/2006 |
"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." |
Groucho Marx |
|
01/27/2006 |
Write down the advice of him who loves you, though you like it not at present. |
English Proverb |
|
01/28/2006 |
"The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes." |
Frank Lloyd Wright |
|
01/29/2006 |
"The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children." |
King Edward VIII (1894-1972) |
|
01/30/2006 |
"When anger rises, think of the consequences." |
Confucius |
|
01/31/2006 |
"I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time." |
Oprah Winfrey |
|
02/01/2006 |
"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong." |
Bertrand Russell |
|
02/02/2006 |
"Some thing things have to be believed to be seen." |
Ralph Hodgson |
|
02/03/2006 |
"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance." |
George Bernard Shaw |
British Author |
02/04/2006 |
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." |
Napoleon Bonaparte |
|
02/05/2006 |
"If you are going through hell, keep going." |
Winston Churchill |
|
02/06/2006 |
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." |
Oscar Wilde |
|
02/07/2006 |
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." |
Samuel Johnson |
|
02/08/2006 |
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." |
Carl Sagan |
|
02/09/2006 |
"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens." |
Jimi Hendrix |
|
02/10/2006 |
"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault." |
Henry Kissinger |
|
02/11/2006 |
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." |
Henry Ford |
|
02/12/2006 |
"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." |
Henry David Thoreau |
|
02/13/2006 |
"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches." |
Duchess of Windsor |
When asked for the secret of a long and happy life. |
02/14/2006 |
"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are." |
Gore Vidal |
|
02/15/2006 |
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." |
Socrates |
|
02/16/2006 |
"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology will exceed our humanity." |
Albert Einstein |
|
02/17/2006 |
"Any man under 30, and is not liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains." |
Winston Churchill |
|
02/18/2006 |
"In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience." |
W.B. Prescott |
|
02/19/2006 |
"What do you take me for, an idiot?" |
Charles de Gaulle |
When asked if he was happy |
02/20/2006 |
"Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler." |
Albert Einstein |
|
02/21/2006 |
"It is choice - not chance - that determines your destiny." |
Jean Nidetch |
|
02/22/2006 |
"Affirmations are like prescriptions for certain aspects of yourself you want to change." |
Jerry Frankhauser |
|
02/23/2006 |
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." |
Abraham Lincoln |
|
02/24/2006 |
"A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog." |
Jack London |
|
02/25/2006 |
"Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without a clear question." |
Albert Camus |
|
02/26/2006 |
"Change your thoughts and you change your world." |
Norman Vincent Peale |
|
02/27/2006 |
"What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step to something better" |
Wendell Phillips |
|
02/28/2006 |
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness." |
Josh Billings |
|
02/29/2006 |
"The wisest man has something yet to learn." |
George Santayana |
|
03/01/2006 |
"Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life." |
Immanuel Kant |
|
03/02/2006 |
"What worries you masters you." |
Haddon W. Robinson |
|
03/03/2006 |
"Trust men and they will be true to you. Treat them greatly and they will show themselves great." |
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
|
03/04/2006 |
"The truth is more important than the facts." |
Frank Lloyd Wright |
|
03/05/2006 |
"Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address." |
Lane Olinghouse |
|
03/06/2006 |
"A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents." |
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg |
|
03/07/2006 |
"Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity." |
Horace Mann |
|
03/08/2006 |
"Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade?" |
Benjamin Franklin |
|
03/09/2006 |
What may be done at any time will be done at no time. |
Scottish Proverb |
|
03/10/2006 |
"The future ain't what it used to be." |
Yogi Berra |
|
03/11/2006 |
"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing." |
Abraham Lincoln |
|
03/12/2006 |
"A short saying oft contains much wisdom." |
Sophocles (496-406 B.C.) |
|
03/13/2006 |
"Be silent as to services you have rendered, but speak of favours you have received." |
Seneca (5 B.C -65 A.D.) |
|
03/14/2006 |
"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes, she's a tramp." |
Joan Rivers |
|
03/15/2006 |
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone." |
Anthony Burgess |
|
03/16/2006 |
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes." |
Steven Wright |
|
03/17/2006 |
"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like." |
Phyllis Diller |
|
03/18/2006 |
"I wan'all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan'all the kids to copulate me" |
Andre Dawson |
Chicago Cubs outfielder |
03/19/2006 |
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missles and misguided men." |
Martin Luther King Jr. |
|
03/20/2006 |
"The secret of success is sincerety. Once you can fake that, you've got it made." |
Jean Giraudoux |
|
03/21/2006 |
"Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn." |
George Bernard Shaw |
|
03/22/2006 |
"Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives." |
Lawana Blackwell |
|
03/23/2006 |
"Respect a man, he will do the more." |
James Howell |
|
03/24/2006 |
"Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics." |
Fletcher Knebel |
|
03/25/2006 |
"?" (One-half of the worlds shortest correspondence) |
Victor Hugo |
On vacation after writing Les Miserables, Hugo wrote his publisher, curious about how it was selling. The reply: "!" |
03/26/2006 |
"If you don't risk anything you risk even more." |
Erica Jong |
|
03/27/2006 |
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." |
Mahatma Gandhi |
|
03/28/2006 |
"You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do." |
Henry Ford |
|
03/29/2006 |
"Weather forecast for tonight: Dark, continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning." |
George Carlin |
|
03/30/2006 |
"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad - and that is my religion." |
Abraham Lincoln |
|
03/31/2006 |
"Take a rest: A field that has rested gives a bountiful crop." |
Ovid (43 B.C. - 17 A.D.) |
|
04/01/2006 |
"April 1 : This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three-hundred and sixty-four." |
Mark Twain |
|
04/02/2006 |
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." |
Lily Tomlin |
|
04/03/2006 |
"A wise man's question contains half the answer." |
Solomon Ibn Gabirol |
|
04/04/2006 |
Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet. |
Chinese Proverb |
|
04/05/2006 |
"Prejudice is opinion without judgment." |
Voltaire |
|
04/06/2006 |
"I am free of all prejudice, I hate everyone equally." |
W.C. Fields |
|
04/07/2006 |
"Let not thy will roar, when thy power can but whisper." |
Dr. Thomas Fuller |
|
04/08/2006 |
"Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance." |
Samuel Johnson |
|
04/09/2006 |
"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business." |
Michael J. Fox |
|
04/10/2006 |
"I really didn't say everything I said." |
Yogi Berra |
|
04/11/2006 |
"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end." |
Margaret Thatcher |
|
04/12/2006 |
"Energy and persistence conquer all things." |
Benjamin Franklin |
|
04/13/2006 |
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." |
Mark Twain |
|
04/14/2006 |
"If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies." |
Moshe Dayan |
|
04/15/2006 |
"Art is either plagiarism or revolution." |
Paul Gauguin |
|
04/16/2006 |
"A goal without a plan is just a wish." |
Antoine de Saint Exupery |
|
04/17/2006 |
"Ninety percent of politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation." |
Henry Kissinger |
|
04/18/2006 |
"Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than having no opinions at all." |
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg |
|
04/19/2006 |
"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them." |
George Bush |
|
04/20/2006 |
"The truth is that there is nothing noble in being superior to someone else. The only real nobility is in being superior to your former self." |
Whitney Young |
|
04/21/2006 |
"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." |
Elvis Presley |
|
04/22/2006 |
"Mistakes are the portals of discovery." |
James Joyce |
|
04/23/2006 |
"Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer." |
Muhammad Ali |
|
04/24/2006 |
"I hate women because they always know where things are." |
James Thurber |
|
04/25/2006 |
"The problem with political jokes is they get elected." |
Henry Cate VII |
|
04/26/2006 |
"Always get married early in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day." |
Mickey Rooney |
|
04/27/2006 |
"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to." |
Mark Twain |
|
04/28/2006 |
"Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place." |
Ice T |
|
04/29/2006 |
"No man ever listened himself out of a job." |
Calvin Coolidge |
|
04/30/2006 |
"In the beginning there was nothing. God said 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better." |
Ellen DeGeneres |
|
05/01/2006 |
"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want." |
Ben Stein |
|
05/02/2006 |
"The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is." |
George Bernard Shaw |
|
05/03/2006 |
"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." |
Albert Einstein |
|
05/04/2006 |
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." |
John Lennon |
|
05/05/2006 |
"Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye." |
Bum Phillips |
When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all road trips |
05/06/2006 |
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people that make them unsafe." |
Frank Rizzo |
Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief |
05/07/2006 |
"Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." |
Brooke Shields |
|
05/08/2006 |
CAUTION: Cape does not enable user to fly. |
Batman costume warning label |
|
05/09/2006 |
"I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs." |
Samuel Goldwyn |
|
05/10/2006 |
"The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between the lightening and the lightening bug." |
Mark Twain |
|
05/11/2006 |
"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R." |
Dennis Miller |
|
05/12/2006 |
If thine enemy wrongs thee, buy each of his children a drum. |
Chinese proverb |
|
05/13/2006 |
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." |
Theodore Roosevelt |
|
05/14/2006 |
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." |
Thomas Edison |
|
05/15/2006 |
"A leader is one who knows the way, shows the way, and goes the way." |
John C. Maxwell |
|
05/16/2006 |
"The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook." |
William James |
|
05/17/2006 |
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?" |
Robert Schuller |
|
05/18/2006 |
"Empowerment is all about letting go so others can get going." |
Kenneth Blanchard |
|
05/19/2006 |
"What comes out of you when you are squeezed is what is inside you." |
Wayne Dyer |
|
05/20/2006 |
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." |
Dave Edison |
|
05/21/2006 |
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. |
Chinese Proverb |
|
05/22/2006 |
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." |
Jeff Valdez |
|
05/23/2006 |
"The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces." |
Maureen Murphy |
|
05/24/2006 |
"I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to the facts." |
Mark Twain |
|
05/25/2006 |
"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." |
Jackie Mason |
|
05/26/2006 |
"The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly' meaning many, and the word 'ticks', meaning blood sucking parasites." |
Larry Hardiman |
|
05/27/2006 |
"Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist." |
Robert G. Allen |
|
05/28/2006 |
"The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work." |
Harry Golden |
|
05/29/2006 |
"My toughest fight was with my first wife." |
Muhammed Ali |
|
05/30/2006 |
"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead." |
Benjamin Franklin |
|
05/31/2006 |
"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense." |
Winston Churchill |
|
06/01/2006 |
"The mind is like a parachute, it only works when it's open." |
Pete Mezey |
|
06/02/2006 |
"Have you ever noticed that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac?" |
George Carlin |
|
06/03/2006 |
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer." |
Robert Frost |
|
06/04/2006 |
"No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut." |
Sam Rayburn |
|
06/05/2006 |
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." |
The Dalai Lama |
|
06/06/2006 |
Talk does not cook rice |
Chinese Proverb |
|
06/07/2006 |
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." |
Dave Berry |
|
06/08/2006 |
"It is when the well is dry that we know the price of water." |
Benjamin Franklin |
|
06/09/2006 |
"Yesterday is a cancelled check. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is the only cash you have, so spend it wisely." |
Kim Lyons |
|
06/10/2006 |
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." |
Thomas Edison |
|
06/11/2006 |
"There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it." |
Monta Crane |
|
06/12/2006 |
"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years." |
Abraham Lincoln |
|
06/13/2006 |
"Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?" |
Dick Clark |
|
06/14/2006 |
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens every day always just exactly fits the newspaper." |
Jerry Seinfeld |
|
06/15/2006 |
"Envy is the ulcer of the soul." |
Socrates |
|
06/16/2006 |
"Necessity is the mother of invention." |
Plato |
|
06/17/2006 |
"Getting caught is the mother of invention." |
Robert Byrne |
|
06/18/2006 |
"Invention is the mother of necessity." |
Thorstein Veblen |
|
06/19/2006 |
"We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Inetrnet, we know that is not true." |
Robert Wilensky |
|
06/20/2006 |
"I not only use all the brains I have, but all that I can borrow." |
Woodrow Wilson |
|
06/21/2006 |
"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that knowbody's going to know whether you did it or not." |
Oprah Winfrey |
|
06/22/2006 |
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." |
Mark Twain |
|
06/23/2006 |
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back |
Chinese Proverb |
|
06/24/2006 |
"Criticism is prejudice made plausable." |
H.L. Mencken |
|
06/25/2006 |
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." |
Rita Rudner |
|
06/26/2006 |
"You get fifteen democrats in a room and you get twenty opinions." |
Senator Patrick Leahy |
|
06/27/2006 |
"Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath." |
Solon (683-589 B.C.) |
|
06/28/2006 |
"Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery." |
Charles Dickens |
|
06/29/2006 |
"Crime does not pay --- as well as politics." |
Alfred E. Newman |
|
06/30/2006 |
"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland." |
Woody Allen |
|
07/01/2006 |
If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot |
Italian Proverb |
|
07/02/2006 |
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." |
Mae West |
|
07/03/2006 |
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times." |
Rita Rudner |
|
07/04/2006 |
Happy 4th! |
|
|
07/05/2006 |
"I have no color prejudices, nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse." |
Mark Twain |
|
07/06/2006 |
"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wong." |
George Carlin |
|
07/07/2006 |
"Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before." |
Mae West |
|
07/08/2006 |
"If you have knowledge, let others light their candles at it." |
Margaret Fuller |
|
07/09/2006 |
"I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice." |
Abraham Lincoln |
|
07/10/2006 |
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." |
Mel Brooks |
|
07/11/2006 |
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts." |
Albert Einstein |
|
07/12/2006 |
"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more." |
Mark Twain |
|
07/13/2006 |
"The firm, the enduring, the simple and the modest are near to virtue." |
Confucius |
|
07/14/2006 |
"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup." |
H.L. Mencken |
|
07/15/2006 |
"If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error." |
John Kenneth Galbraith |
|
07/16/2006 |
"What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?" |
Herb Kupcinet |
|
07/17/2006 |
"You can't separate peace from freedom, because nobody can be at peace unless he has freedom." |
Malcolm X |
|
07/18/2006 |
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for." |
Epicurus |
|
07/19/2006 |
"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it." |
George Moore |
|
07/20/2006 |
"Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, Be it ever so humble there's no place like home." |
John Howard Payne |
|
07/21/2006 |
"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul." |
Marilyn Monroe |
|
07/22/2006 |
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. |
Japanese Proverb |
|
07/23/2006 |
"Don't stop thinking about tomorrow. Don't stop, it'll soon be here. It'll be better than before, yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone." |
Christine McVie |
|
07/24/2006 |
"If you wake up and don't want to smile, It will take just a little while, Open your eyes and look at the day, You'll see things in a different way." |
Christine McVie |
|
07/25/2006 |
"It's not best to swap horses while crossing the river." |
Abraham Lincoln |
|
07/26/2006 |
"Without a struggle, there can be no progress." |
Frederick Douglass |
|
07/27/2006 |
"No one wants advice -- only corroboration." |
John Steinbeck |
|
07/28/2006 |
"Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can." |
John Wesley |
|
07/29/2006 |
Of all the strategems, to know when to quit is the best. |
Chinese Proverb |
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07/30/2006 |
"Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion" |
Ambrose Bierce |
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07/31/2006 |
"Mars and Venus are at it again. This time, Hephaestus is standing by with a private detective, a photographer and a lawyer." |
Mason Cooley |
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08/01/2006 |
"Women should have equal pay for equal work. And they should be considered equally eligible to the offices of principal and superintendent, professor and president. So you must insist that qualifications, not sex, should govern appointments and salaries." |
Susan B. Anthony |
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08/02/2006 |
"One has to completely humiliate oneself to be what the Beatles were, and that's what I resent. I don't know. I didn't forsee. It happened bit by bit, gradually, until this complete craziness is surrounding you, and you're doing exactly what you don't want to do with people you can't stand - the people you hated when you were ten." |
John Lennon |
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08/03/2006 |
"The banker rubs his nose, thinking of his cat stalking something on the lawn." |
Mason Cooley |
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08/04/2006 |
"In Beverly Hills .... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows." |
Woody Allen |
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08/05/2006 |
"A man's idea in a card game is war - cruel, devastating and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary." |
Finley Peter Dunne |
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08/06/2006 |
"An angel robed in spotless white - Bent down and kissed the sleeping Night - Night woke to blush; the sprite was gone. Men saw the blush and called it dawn." |
Paul Laurence Dunbar |
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08/07/2006 |
"A man's indebtedness ... is not virtue; his repayment is. Virtue begins when he dedicates himself actively to the job of gratitude." |
Ruth Benedict |
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08/08/2006 |
"Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth." |
Mark Twain |
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08/09/2006 |
Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. |
Spanish Proverb |
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08/10/2006 |
"Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood." |
Mary Hirsch |
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08/11/2006 |
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." |
Mark Twain |
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08/12/2006 |
"God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest." |
J.G. Holland |
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08/13/2006 |
"What a child doesn't receive, he can seldom give later." |
P.D. James |
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08/14/2006 |
"The best way to cheer yourself is to cheer somebody else up." |
Mark Twain |
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08/15/2006 |
"Have no friends not equal to yourself." |
Confucius |
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08/16/2006 |
"Problems are only opportunities in work clothes." |
Henry J. Kaiser |
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08/17/2006 |
There are always ears on the other side of the wall. |
Chinese Proverb |
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08/18/2006 |
"Admiration. Our polite recognition of another'a resemblence to ourselves." |
Ambrose Bierce |
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08/19/2006 |
"Shew me a lyar, and I'le shew thee a theefe." |
George Herbert |
Welsh poet (1593-1633) |
08/20/2006 |
"Courage is not limited to the battlefield or to the Indianapolis 500 or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are ... the inner tests, like remaining faithful when nobody's looking, like enduring pain when the room is empty, like standing alone when you're misunderstood, like fighting for what is right even when you know you are going to lose." |
Charles R. Swindoll |
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08/21/2006 |
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." |
Will Rogers |
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08/22/2006 |
"Some people see things that are and ask, why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...." |
George Carlin |
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08/23/2006 |
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." |
Albert Einstein |
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08/24/2006 |
"Winning is not everything. It is the only thing." |
Vince Lombardi |
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08/25/2006 |
"I don't feel good." |
Luther Burbank |
Last words |
08/26/2006 |
"A man that doesn't cry doesn't have a heart." |
Duane 'Dog' Chapman |
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08/27/2006 |
"Well eccuuuuuse me!!!!" |
Steve Martin |
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08/28/2006 |
"A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." |
The Wizard of Oz |
To the Tin Man |
08/29/2006 |
"Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war -- for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more." |
John Lennon |
MBE -Member of the Order of the British Empire |
08/30/2006 |
"Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age." |
Hosea Ballou |
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08/31/2006 |
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." |
Epictetus |
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09/01/2006 |
"My attitude toward men who mess around is simple. If you find 'em, kill 'em." |
Loretta Lynn |
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09/02/2006 |
"I like terra firma. The more firma, the less terra." |
George S. Kaufman |
On flying |
09/03/2006 |
"The long versus the short term arguement is the one used by losers." |
Larry Adler |
American founder of Fire and All Risk Insurances |
09/04/2006 |
A cat that catches mice does not meow. |
Chinese Proverb |
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09/05/2006 |
"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." |
Mother Teresa |
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09/06/2006 |
"Modesty is the citadel of beauty." |
Demades |
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09/07/2006 |
"What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset." |
Crowfoot |
Blackfoot warrier and orater 1890 |
09/08/2006 |
"It isn't the oceans which cut us off from the rest of the world -- it's the American way of looking at things." |
Henry Miller |
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09/09/2006 |
"Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children." |
Samuel Levenson |
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09/10/2006 |
"Information is the currency of a democracy." |
Thomas Jefferson |
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09/11/2006 |
"A group of us are going to do something." |
Thomas E. Burnett Jr. |
Passenger on United Flight 93, cell phone call to his wife. |
09/12/2006 |
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." |
Edmund Burke |
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09/13/2006 |
"I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom." |
Abraham Lincoln |
Letter to Mrs. Bixby of Boston, who lost five sons killed in battle. November 21, 1864 |
09/14/2006 |
"Now boys, remember you are the twenty-third, and give them hell. In these woods the Rebels don't know but we are ten-thousand; and if we fight, and when we charge yell, we are as good as ten-thousand by God." |
Rutherford B. Hayes |
Hayes, with "his eyes shining like a cat's," ordering a charge at South Mountain December 8, 1862 |
09/15/2006 |
"Older men declare war. But it is youth that must fight and die." |
Herbert Hoover |
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09/16/2006 |
"If any question why we died, tell them, because our fathers lied." |
Rudyard Kipling |
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09/17/2006 |
"I see that old flagpole still stands. Have your troops hoist the colors to its peak, and let no enemy ever haul them down." |
General Douglas Macarthur |
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09/18/2006 |
"You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour." |
Jim Rohn |
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09/19/2006 |
The definition of an elephant -- a mouse built to government specifications. |
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09/20/2006 |
"Fear of trying causes paralysis. Trying causes only trembling and sweating." |
Mason Cooley |
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09/21/2006 |
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." |
David Dinkins |
Former New York City Mayor |
09/22/2006 |
"I consider myself a relatively moral guy." |
O.J. Simpson |
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09/23/2006 |
"I tell you, that Michael Jackson is unbelievable! Isn't he? He's just unbelievable. Three plays in twenty seconds." |
Al Gore |
Commenting on Michael Jordan |
09/24/2006 |
U.S. Air Force pilot complaint - "IFF inoperative." Maintenance reply - '"IFF always inoperative in OFF mode." |
Actual pilot complaint and maintance personnal sign off |
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09/25/2006 |
U.S. Air Force pilot complaint - "Number three engine missing." Maintenance reply - " Number three engine found on right wing after brief search." |
Actual pilot complaint and maintenance personnel written reply |
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09/26/2006 |
"We all do no end of feeling - and we mistake it for thinking." |
Mark Twain |
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09/27/2006 |
Marriage means commitment - of course, so does insanity. |
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09/28/2006 |
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." |
Groucho Marx |
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09/29/2006 |
"It's the friends you can call up at four A.M. that matter." |
Marlene Dietrich |
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09/30/2006 |
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought, which they seldom use." |
Soren Kierkegaard |
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10/01/2006 |
"Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have." |
H. Jackson Brown, Jr. |
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10/02/2006 |
A smile will gain you ten more years of life. |
Chinese Proverb |
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10/03/2006 |
"Whether I give to a beggar or not, his existence puts me in the wrong." |
Mason Cooley |
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10/04/2006 |
"The buyer needs a hundred eyes, the seller not one." |
George Herbert |
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10/05/2006 |
"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage." |
Mark Russell |
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10/06/2006 |
"Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place." |
Johnny Carson |
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10/07/2006 |
On a clear day, U.C.L.A. |
Graffiti in San Francisco |
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10/08/2006 |
"Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines." |
David Letterman |
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10/09/2006 |
"Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair." |
George Burns |
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10/10/2006 |
"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it." |
Buddy Hackett |
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10/11/2006 |
"Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it." |
Robert Heinlein |
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10/12/2006 |
"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane." |
June Henderson |
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10/13/2006 |
"Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes." |
Baendan Hills |
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10/14/2006 |
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." |
Herbert Hoover |
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10/15/2006 |
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." |
Bob Hope |
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10/16/2006 |
"If you keep swinging, good things will happen." |
Larry Merchant |
On boxing |
10/17/2006 |
"Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you later." |
Mary Bly |
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10/18/2006 |
"You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." |
Al Capone |
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10/19/2006 |
"The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier." |
George Bernard Shaw |
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10/20/2006 |
"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished, unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." |
Voltaire |
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10/21/2006 |
"When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty." |
Norm Crosby |
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10/22/2006 |
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." |
Erma Bombeck |
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10/23/2006 |
"If you are planning on doing business with someone again, don't be too tough in the negotiations. If you plan to skin a cat, don't keep it as a house cat." |
Marvin S. Levin |
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10/24/2006 |
"A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks." |
Andy Rooney |
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10/25/2006 |
"Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford." |
Cindy Crawford |
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10/26/2006 |
"A good scare is worth more than good advice." |
Horace |
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10/27/2006 |
"Never take advice from anybody who is not successful." |
Brad Antin |
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10/28/2006 |
"I am not so think as you drunk I am." |
John Squire |
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10/29/2006 |
"Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart." |
Erma Bombeck |
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10/30/2006 |
"I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks." |
Joe E. Lewis |
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10/31/2006 |
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." |
Oprah Winfrey |
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11/01/2006 |
"Happiness isn't something you experience, it's something you remember." |
Oscar Levant |
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11/02/2006 |
"If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning, say 'Good morning' at total strangers." |
Maya Angelou |
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11/03/2006 |
"If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books." |
Alan King |
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11/04/2006 |
"A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office." |
Francis O'Walsh |
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11/05/2006 |
"A liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else." |
George Bernard Shaw |
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11/06/2006 |
"To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're overdoing it." |
Josh Jenkins |
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11/07/2006 |
"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." |
Oscar Wilde |
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11/08/2006 |
"If your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall." |
Bill Earle |
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11/09/2006 |
"Somebody figured it out. We have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments." |
Earl Wilson |
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11/10/2006 |
"The dumbest people I know are those who know it all." |
Malcom Forbes |
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11/11/2006 |
"If the guy was poor, I'd give it back." |
Yogi Berra |
When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars. |
11/12/2006 |
"The miracle is this -- the more we share, the more we have." |
Leonard Nimoy |
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11/13/2006 |
"Ability is of little account without opportunity." |
Napoleon Bonaparte |
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11/14/2006 |
"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up." |
Phyllis Diller |
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11/15/2006 |
"I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe." |
Bob Hope |
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11/16/2006 |
"The path of least resistance is the path of the loser." |
H.G. Wells |
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11/17/2006 |
"I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for." |
James H. Boren |
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11/18/2006 |
"Start every day with a smile and get it over with." |
W.C. Fields |
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11/19/2006 |
"The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins." |
Oliver Wendell Holmes |
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11/20/2006 |
"If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work." |
Ogden Nash |
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11/21/2006 |
"The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." |
Albert Einstein |
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11/22/2006 |
"I usually take a two hour nap from one to four." |
Yogi Berra |
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11/23/2006 |
"When a person with money meets a person with experience, the person with the experience winds up with the money and the person with the money winds up with the experience." |
Harvey MacKay |
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11/24/2006 |
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" |
Robin Williams |
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11/25/2006 |
"My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!" |
Bill Cosby |
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11/26/2006 |
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." |
Groucho Marx |
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11/27/2006 |
"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me." |
Steve Martin |
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11/28/2006 |
"I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright nooooooooow." |
Billy Connolly |
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11/29/2006 |
"Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?" |
Steven Spielberg |
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11/30/2006 |
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" |
John Barrymore |
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12/01/2006 |
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." |
Rodney Dangerfield |
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12/02/2006 |
"Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding." |
Albert Einstein |
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12/03/2006 |
"We learn from experience that we never learn from experience." |
George Bernard Shaw |
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12/04/2006 |
"LeMay said, "If we lost the war, we'd all have been prosecuted as war criminals." And I think he's right. He and I'd say, I were behaving as war criminals. LeMay recognized that what he was doing would be thought immoral if his side had lost. But what makes it immoral if you lose, and not immoral if you win? |
Robert McNamara |
Speaking about bombing Japan in WWII |
12/05/2006 |
"America is great because America is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." |
Alexis de Toqueville |
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12/06/2006 |
Scarecrow: "I haven't got a brain, only straw." Dorothy: "How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?" Scarecrow: "I don't know ... but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking ... don't they?" |
The Wizard of Oz |
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12/07/2006 |
"Suicide hotline ... Please hold." |
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12/08/2006 |
"Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended." |
Zsa Zsa Gabor |
|
12/09/2006 |
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." |
Albert Einstein |
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12/10/2006 |
"I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did." |
Yogi Berra |
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12/11/2006 |
"You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks." |
Robin Williams |
&nbs |
